Portraits of FiFi

a Cancer Journey: THIRD TIME’S A CHARM?

A Story of Jill Lerner by Jill Lerner

So, here’s the deal, PLEASE GET YOUR YEARLY MAMMOGRAMS!! If you have breast cancer running in your family, fight for early mammograms. Early detection can make a HUGE difference, and women must be proactive with our health as no one will do it for us! This includes lumps, bumps, chronic unexplained pain, weird heartburn, chest pain, you know what I mean. Do NOT let anyone tell you there is nothing wrong if you know something feels off. Lovingly, we must be our own advocates!

In 1990, at the age of 18 and having just started college, I was diagnosed with Stage 1 A/B Hodgkins Lymphoma as I felt a weird lump in my neck. Tumor removal and daily radiation followed for several months which didn’t really cramp my college style too much LOL! I was considered “cancer free” over time and moved on with life.

In November 2016, I had my first round of breast cancer (Invasive Lobular Breast Cancer- Stage 2) which was discovered during a routine mammogram and 8 ultrasounds. Thank you, Wake Radiology in Cary!! I was expedited for a radical double mastectomy in December 2016 followed by breast and nipple reconstruction and tattooing throughout 2017. I cannot count the number of Thanksgiving and Winter Breaks I have spent in a hospital and/or recovering from surgeries. You know me, I am a worker bee and hate being absent from work and by this time, Learn with the Best School and Learn with the Best ABA Clinic were well established and growing steadily.

Ironically, I still was considering myself fortunate as my amazing oncologist felt that hormone therapy for 10 years would yield the same results of eliminating any "sleeping" cancer cells that may have "escaped" from the original tumor during surgery. No chemo or radiation this time! Interestingly, it was also felt that my breast cancer may have been radiation-induced from the Hodgkins radiation therapy in 1991. WOW, the gift that kept on giving!! 

Since I consider myself an overachiever, always wanting to do more and be better, I BECAME THE 4% FOR BREAST CANCER RECURRENCE!!! GO ME!!! In September of 2022, I was going away with some friends and couldn’t kick a wicked cough with awful back pain. My primary care brushed it off so I visited with my oncologist. Lo and behold, my third round of cancer was upon me!! I am blessed/cursed to have been diagnosed with Stage 4 Metastatic Breast Cancer and Adenocarcinoma of the Skeleton (skeletal cancer). At first it appeared to be lung cancer but morphed quickly as the lung lesions kindly cleared up quickly with the first round of oral chemo. I told my oncologist that I did not want to look “cancery” so we opted for oral chemo along with monthly chemo injections and anti-estrogen therapy (my cancer LOVES estrogen) each quarter. I also get quarterly scans to review growth patterns. The chemo has driven me into very early menopause as well as given me medication-induced diabetes. My meds have caused weight loss so I am looking pretty good right now and, being 50 lbs. lighter, I am moving better despite the impact of skeletal fatigue.

Blessings- this is livable and treatable and I am able to function well each day Curse- this is not curable. I AM A FIGHTER AND THIS WILL NOT DEFEAT ME. It is all about perspective. I continue to go to work each day and do my best to run the shows and be supportive of my staff, families, and students, and be as helpful as possible. I am strong and work hard to push through my own physical and mental barriers, so each day counts as much as possible. Some days I ask others for grace, which is not easy for me to do. Some days I ask others for help, again, it is not easy for me to do. Some days I go straight home after work and try to listen to my body. Some days I have to say no to being with friends as I am just too tired. Regardless, I am moving and grooving, learning and growing and LIVING!

Photographer's Message

There are times when you just have to step aside and let your client share the words of her story… and this is one of those times. But, I have to say something. Jill Lerner is the founder and owner of Learn with the Best, an amazing school for children with special needs, which is how I first met her. As an advocate for both special needs and cancer awareness, these important parts of her life do not define her entirely—they are just pieces of her journey.

Jill is a rare experience—filled with love and joy, not just for herself but for others. Wise and warm, yet firm… you always know you're getting honesty from her.

The day of her shoot was incredible. More than incredible. We had so much fun—dancing, talking, playing dress-up, and just feeling the moments. There were laughter-filled moments, quiet reflective moments. It was like two Queens hanging out, pouring into one another. And let me tell you, she SLAYED. Not just a little, but SLAYED like the GD Queen she is. She owned it! Embraced herself fully. I think, in some ways, she saw herself for the first time in a long time.

Witnessing her power rise and elevate during the shoot was just so powerful. Although we were friends before the shoot, in many ways we became sisters that day. Sisters in reclaiming parts of ourselves, in realizing our strength, and understanding our own power. Sisters in embracing the life that truly matters to us.

That day will forever hold deep meaning to me—a day filled with love, friendship, sisterhood, and elevating Queens. Because the truth is, while I may have had the camera in my hand, you, Jill, inspire and uplift me too. xo - Shira

Gallery of Featured Images

Hand-selected images to share from Jill's shoot day experience.